St. Valentine’s Day – the most romantic day of the year. The day of love and grand sweeping romantic gestures.
Traditionally, little kids exchange cards with their classmates, big kids send lollipops to their crushes. Enamoured adults purchase sappy cards, boxes of chocolates, bouquets of roses, and splash out for romantic dinners. Couples get engaged, others get married. Hallmark, Florists, Jewellers, and Restauranteurs cash in! It’s the day love truly wins and chivalry is celebrated. But is that changing?
Call me old-fashioned but I love chivalry! I love chivalrous people, especially chivalrous men. So much in fact, I married one.
Chivalry is defined loosely as “courteous behaviour”, usually by men directed to women. It’s also a form of respect and everyone regardless of age or gender should act with chivalry. Chivalry boils down to kindness and we all know kindness doesn’t cost a thing.
Originally Chivalry was defined as – the system of behaviour followed by knights in the medieval period that put a high value on honour, kindness and courage.
In a recent survey only “1 in 7 men said they would give up their seat to an elderly person.” Shocking, right?
Perhaps the days of men standing when a lady enters the room, or gentlemen kissing the hands of unmarried ladies are passing. But that does not mean common civility and good manners should pass too.
In todays “hook up” culture and digital dating. Has it become too much to expect dinner? A second, or third date and a bit of time invested in getting to know one another? I’m not saying the dude should even get the bill (nice touch though). Share the damn bill…it’s not about the bill.
I am a Mom to a boy tribe, and want my guys to be modern-day knights. Gentleman who respect women and value honour, kindness, and courage.
How to be a Gentlemen:
- Get to know your date – take them for dinner, coffee, or movie.
- Hold the door for everyone!
- Give up your seat on the train to anyone senior, especially ladies.
- Ensure your date and friends make it home safely.
- Walk on the street edge of the sidewalk.
- Pull out her chair.
- Use your manners.
- Make eye contact.
- Have a firm handshake.
- Be true to your word and mean what you say.
- Carry heavy bags.
- Help ladies with their jackets.
- Be on time.
- Buy flowers.
- Be kind.
- Play fair.
- Be humble.
Ladies, don’t settle. I hope that today and everyday someone shows you kindness and at least a shred of chivalry. If the Valentine in your life buys you flowers or chocolates today. Yeah! If they simply tell you they “love you”, and hand you the remote. Take it as a win. Love and romance don’t always have to come in the form of grand sweeping gestures – although really fun when they do! Sometimes it’s as simple as your love pouring your favourite drink and coming in for a snuggle.
We need chivalry to stick around. Digital is not sexy but raw emotion is. Don’t be afraid to lay your feelings on the line. But say it in person, not through a text. We’re emotional and physical beings, not robots. We thrive on emotional connection. Hugging and hand holding can actually heal feelings of isolation and anger by increasing oxytocin levels. Pretty cool!
Today, my Big Valentine is away. So, I’m celebrating with loads of hugs, chocolates and dinner out with my boy tribe and my sis. I’ve already bought myself flowers!
How are you spending your day? Be kind to others and definitely to yourself. If you’re single, take a friend for dinner, or treat yourself to something a little indulgent….massage, facial, shoes, chocolates, wine. At the very least get the flowers. You absolutely deserve it. x
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Kate, a.k.a. roamingmom